B-Day is approaching

B-Day, a.k.a., no more bottles day is fast approaching. It’s time the twins said bye-bye to the bottle and even though my daughter might be a future MENSA member she has an addiction. As they say on the street, “Ah, man, she’s addicted to the bot.” Bot is street slang like pipe, rock, devil’s dandruff, cat’s pee (no joke), and Yahoo are for crack. Terri and I have discussed taking her to BA but when we talk to her about it she says, “No!,” and then proceeds to sweep stuff off the living room table on to the floor. What’s that they say? Denial is the first step in knowing you’re and addict? Grace, it’s time to be a mature two-year-and-two-month old and admit you’re an addict. Then you came begin to heal and move forward.

I hear that that BA has a three step process because most of them are members of S.A.S.T. (Short Attention Span Theater) and we’ll be lucky if they can count up to three. Emily’s been helping us with Grace’s problem. “Grace, no more bottles. Daddy says no more bottles. Grace, did you hear that? No more.” (Waving of the finger and pointing at the end emphasizes Emily’s point.)

So, next Friday, February 21st, 2008 is a day that will live infamy. If you’d like to contribute to our cause please call 1-888-BYE-BOTL or mail us a check at 935 West Gunnison, c/o Bottle Anonymous, Chicago, IL 60640. I’ll thank you in advance and ask that you say a prayer next Friday night to give me the strength to make it through.